Where to go for comfort?

These are just random notes that I may turn into a video.  It would be a video where I would be asking those watching for their answers or suggestions.  Since European countries are more secular in their thoughts than the U.S., they may have ready answers.

When the children in Connecticut were murdered, the townspeople all gathered the very next night at a church.  I thought they would want to stay at home and grieve or grieve with a few friends, but I guess since this was an entire town grieving, they quickly met.  My question is, if we were not religious as a society, where would grieving people meet?  I am assuming our public athletic facilities, clubs and community centers would be much larger because people would get out more instead of being at church, so possibly a community center or school.  Who would take over as leader of these functions?  The mayor?  Voluntary?  Will there be secular counselors or the equivalent of ministers?

I think the grieving would be much more productive than asking people to pray to the God who ignored the children, of course.  But I think as people become more aware of the scams of the church, there still must be certain structures to fill the void. The church leaders swooped in because these tragedies are their opportunity, and also, many of them are actually sincere about helping.  I had to be impressed at how quickly they acted, yet it took two days for them to give some made up reasons and excuses God allowed the killing spree to go on.  As to solutions as we becomje more secular, right now I have no answers, and I do know most people become more religious when someone dies.  I see it over and over on Facebook; the "spiritual" revert to talking about angels and God and quoting Bible verses and asking people to pray for their dearly departed. 

I know that funerals and cemeteries have evolved with the times, with more people being cremated and more memorial services and fewer weeping funerals with open caskets.  I am sure we will all evolve and naturally come up with solutions, but right now, I do not know what they are.