Friday, March 30, 2018

Forced Forgiveness Is Harmful

No one has to forgive. It can be nice if you can and sometimes it is helpful, but sometimes I do not think it is the best answer. For instance, there are a few things in my life I do not want people to forgive me for. I want them to understand what happened, but I feel I would get off too easily if they forgave me. I do not forgive most people, but I sure do like when they change and I let the bad situations that person caused recess in my brain; but I don't forget either! "Forgive and forget" is bad advice! Forced forgiveness, as they do in churches, is harmful.
I don't forgive or forget my piano teacher for molesting me, for instance, nor do I think I should! I can accept that it happened and I can understand how it happened, and I can still love the good things about my piano teacher and be glad that I took lessons from him for other reasons; but I will never forgive him. Nor should anyone else - but that's up to you how you handle things. This is just my opinion.

So we have Easter coming up - a holiday about the sun and seasons and spring renewal that was taken over by a start-up religion to become a celebration of a fictitious man who rises from the dead after being killed by his father, the all-powerful, all-wise god. The reason for a sacrifice of an innocent person? To forgive people "for their sins!" Forgiving is not necessary! Even animals make poor judgment calls and mistakes, and here we are in a very complex society trying to deal with all sorts of people every day. We will make mistakes. It is to be expected and not to be seen as a "sin" or a "failing"; it should be seen as us not having the smarts to give a better response at the time. But if I want forgiveness or at least for the other person to understand why I lashed out, for instance, I need to talk to that person. There is absolutely no reason to switch to asking forgiveness from a third-party - a sky-god. It's like getting another person involved who has nothing to do with the situation and is not as important as the person I hurt. I can guarantee you, if I asked a sky-god for forgiveness because I wanted forgiveness, the sky-god would forgive me. I wonder why?!
There are times I forgive a person, especially if I overall like that person, but there are other times I just accept the situation happened and that's the way that person is, or I understand that the person used a poor choice of words, and move on. Sometimes, I learn from the situation just who that person is and what their mindset is and learn I don't trust that person! That is smarter than forgiving the person and hanging around a person who will harm you.
Why does it take bloodshed for an all-powerful god to forgive when he could just forgive? Why did he have to add the torture story? What a poor example he has set. Violence as a solution!
As you celebrate a "perfect person" (whose story and personality were not perfect in my opinion), and give thanks to an "all-loving" god who seems quite imperfect, perhaps add some humanistic features such as giving thanks for those who made your food, and try to eat less meat and dairy because they come from animals who were tortured and killed as youngsters, which is never good. Enjoy great company if you have friends and family over, and be thankful for that! Be thankful for having a life! Be thankful for warmer weather and a sun whose rays will be felt again! Enjoy the holiday without the yearly, "He is risen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" proclamations. No one escapes death. No one gets rewarded for doing better than someone else in this life. The rewards for having a good life - an easy life or a difficult life done well - are your own and for those around you and for whatever positive effect you left while you were living on this earth.

Happy Easter!