How Do You Know ? You Weren't There! (Read in Kent Hovind's Voice)

Creationists:

If you use the technique of “You weren’t there,” to brush off all of the accomplishments, dating methods, fossils, DNA, molecular evidence, etc. of scientists, then you may not enjoy the Karma that will come your way.  What you are really doing is hiding the fact that cannot counter scientific facts because your young earth creationism does not make sense with nature and, thus, you have nothing but blind faith.  Your most popular comeback, therefore, is: “How do you know? You weren’t there!”  It rings of childishness, doesn’t it.

It would only be fair, then, that the same method is used on you.  You were not there when Jesus supposedly walked on earth.  Further, none of the authors of the Gospels were there.  (No, the authors of Mathew, Mark, Luke and John were not there.  In case you did not know, the books in the Bible are named after the disciples, but the authors of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John were not those disciples – they were anonymous men.  So, none of the passages about Jesus can be used, since the writers of those books were not there.  Also, Paul only saw a vision of Jesus, but never saw Jesus in the flesh, so anything Paul writes about Jesus beyond a vision cannot be used because he was not there watching Jesus directly. 

Since the people writing about Jesus never met Jesus, and you require that someone is personally there and the event itself has to occur during the witness’s lifetime, then get your scissors and cut out every passage that mentions Jesus in the Bible – because “How do you know?  No one was there!”