All the Animals on Noah’s Ark are in Heat!

(Information from talkorigins.org and biblicalnonsense.com)

I am going to talk today about Noah’s Ark, again, but we are going to focus on one aspect of the story – the water.  Because you can’t have a flood without water!  Right?  Believe it or not, Creationists have not figured out any way that all that water could accumulate around the earth, and how the animals could survive the temperature if there were that much water. 

So, we needn’t talk about the size of animals on the ark, how they got from Alaska to the Middle East, the number of “kinds” of animals, how their food could be stored and not get moldy, or what they ate when they got off the ark and everything was barren, how a dove brought back an olive leaf when there would not even be seeds germinating, or the urine fumes on the ark– because they don’t even have the water necessary for this wonderful flood figured out yet!  (Of course it’s fun to discuss the other things too, for amusement!)

Here are all the different ideas Creationists have proposed for where the water originated from. 

First, we will start with the Water Vapor Canopy “theory.” 

In case you are not up on the latest, Answersingenesis now says that the “Water Vapor Canopy ‘Theory’” should not be used, and give credit to their own researchers for this discovery, of course.  The Water Vapor Canopy Theory was an idea from Creationists that all the water was hanging around in the air in vapor form, and then it “somehow” cooled enough to drop onto the earth as rain.  But if it began as a thick layer of vapor, with its accompanying pressure, any water from it would be superheated!  The flood waters would be boiled away very quickly.  Noah’s little family that we are all supposed to descend from?  Poached.  

What about “It rained for 40 days and 40 nights.”  Well, raining for 40 days and nights would raise the atmospheric pressure, which would raise oxygen and nitrogen to toxic levels.  The water beating down on the ark would be at a rate of 6 inches per minute and would quickly become too hot from all the energy.  The heat generated by the impact of the raindrops falling on the flood surface would have been more than sufficient to boil the water and prevent it from rising.  Any way you try to make the fish swim – they won’t be swimming because the water would evaporate from the intense heat.  And you’d have a fish fry. 

Next let’s talk about the Hydroplate theory.  This is where the water came from underneath the ground. The problem with this is that you need much more water than our earth holds.  The earth contains only 1% of the necessary water for the flood covering the highest mountaintop, so 99% would have to fall from the sky.  

This Hydroplate model proposes that the Flood waters came from a layer of water about ten miles underground (Answersingenesis says the water got trapped underground during Creation week), which was released by a “catastrophic rupture of the earth's crust,” shot above the atmosphere, and fell as rain.  But this cannot work, because even one mile deep the earth is boiling hot, and so all the water ten miles down would be superheated. Further heat would be added by the energy of the water falling from above the atmosphere.  As if we needed further heat for it to be too hot!  As with the vapor canopy model, Noah would have been charbroiled.

Creationists describe this water coming from underground as having volcanoes erupting underground.  They try to make it seem all chaotic.  But volcanoes erupting would just boil the water further. 

Next we will talk about what I call the “Rocks Falling from Outer Space ” idea.  Creationists have many different rocks they think are responsible for the “world-wide flood.”

Kent Hovind proposed that the flood water came from a comet which broke up and fell on the earth. He actually did!  Again, this has the problem of the heat from the gravitational potential energy. The water would be steam by the time it reached the surface of the earth.

Even if the water began as ice in orbit, the gravitational potential energy would raise the temperature past boiling.  

As an aside here, you know that crater called Chicxulub Crater?  Kent Hovind thinks that asteroids hit during this flood wherever we now see craters on earth, including this Chicxulub crater (the one that made the dinosaurs go extinct).  (Yet Hovind claims dinosaurs went on the ark!)  He proposed that asteroids hit along with the flood (so picture that), but unfortunately for Kent Hovind, the heat from the massive impacts would have immediately boiled large quantities of the ocean!  

The last thing we will look at is the idea by John Baumgardner called Runaway Subduction.  He postulates that the earth was all in one piece, the Pangea, 4000 years ago (LOL!), because you see, that helps with their story of how penguins waddled from Alaska to the Middle East. (Another LOL!)  Then he has the plates tearing apart and the continents moving rapidly, by first having the land heat up with friction and then cooling off, just because he doesn’t want things to get too hot. The tearing apart of the layers and twisting, causes the flood to come up from underneath. It sounds so official. But noxious gases like sulfuric acid would erupt.  The runaway subduction process does not work and Baumgardner even admits that it would take supernatural powers to make it work.  He also estimates a heat release of 10²⁸ joules from this runaway subduction process. The lava expected to accompany the subterranean water would also bring the already scalding liquid to its boiling point. The oceans would probably be vaporized!  

So you see, the problems of the water’s source and destination are massive since the entire ocean should almost instantaneously be converted to steam with all their ideas. In fact, the steam rising from the ocean beds would have been concentrated enough to boil off the planet’s atmosphere with the runaway subduction idea.

In closing, Creationists still have got to figure out how to get water for the flood, and find a way for it not to burn Noah, his family and all the animals and fish to death!